one bitchface to rule them all
One sneer to find them
One glare to bring them all
And with raised eyebrow bind them
I love your face
Isildur’s heir takes no shit from you.
- Falling from a cliff? Fuck you, just drifted away in the river and randomly found a motherfuckin horse to go home.
- Marrying an elf not permitted? Fuck you, I do what I want.
- Need a sword to prove who I am? Fuck you, Elrond travels all across the land to bring a sword to ME, and he had to repair himself.
- King of Gondor? Fuck you, shut up, I’ll sing a song because I want to.
- No one throws a dwarf? Fuck you, I used to throw dwarves as a national sport when I was young… 80 YEARS AGO.
- Need an army? Fuck you, I just get into that dodgy looking cave and a whole bunch of skulls vomit a green army for me.
No shit, I said.